


Day 2 - Misunderstandings

by Sang_argente



Series: sastiel love week 2016 [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Misunderstandings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-30
Updated: 2016-07-30
Packaged: 2018-07-27 16:00:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7624885
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sang_argente/pseuds/Sang_argente
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Are you alright, Sam? You seem...upset?”</p><p>“I'm fine,” Sam lies and hurries to change the subject.</p><p>He thinks about it almost constantly over the next few days, unconsciously distancing himself from Castiel. They haven't spent a night together in almost a week, their kisses have all but disappeared, and their hugs are quick and cool.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Day 2 - Misunderstandings

Sam finds a book in the Men of Letters’ library. They've been here a while, but so much has been going on that he hasn't had the chance to go through everything. He isn't surprised when he discovers a small section of worn out books with faded writing that seems to be about angels. After all, just because Sam and Dean had once been the focus of all of Heaven doesn't mean that no one else had ever spoken to an angel. Curiosity leads him to pull out one of the books, even though he'd originally been searching for something else. He chooses the least worn, its writing at least vaguely similar to modern English, and settles down with it, eager to learn more about the beings that had been so prevalent in his life.

It's an interesting read, Sam can admit that to himself even if he has no intentions of mentioning it to Dean. Most of what he already knows to be true about angels is reflected in it so he assumes the rest is just as factual. It isn't until he reaches the section on angel mating that things get weird.

For one thing, Sam always sort of thought of angels as primarily asexual. Sure, those angels who had spent a lot of time on Earth like Gabriel or Balthazar seemed to have a healthy sexual appetite, but the rest had always come across as distanced from that sort of thing. Even Castiel, with whom Sam has spent quite a few long nights, sometimes seems detached from the physical side of their relationship.

As he continues to read, Sam wonders if he hasn't discovered why. The books speak of angels as beings who can't possibly understand sex. Even when they manage to understand the act itself, they can never comprehend the meaning. Angels communicate their love and affection for one another primarily through grace. That is definitely something Sam can't do.

He puts the book away, absentmindedly tucking it under the other assorted books on what he has claimed as his table, when he hears footsteps coming up the stairs along with Dean's loud voice. Sam relaxes when he gets close enough to identify the tone. Dean is definitely proud.

“-getting better. Someday soon you'll be just as good as Sam!” Dean is telling Castiel as they appear in the doorway.

“I still do not understand why I must learn how to use a gun at all,” Castiel answers, repeating the same thing he's been telling Dean all day. Once again, he's ignored as Dean leaves, excusing himself to go find some dinner.

“So you did pretty good on the range, huh?” Sam asks, not moving from where he'd stood to lean against the table, arms crossed over his chest. Usually he would greet Castiel with a quick kiss, but something about that seems wrong after what he's spent his afternoon reading.

“Dean thinks so,” Castiel replies, tilting his head to look at Sam questioningly. “Are you alright, Sam? You seem...upset?”

“I'm fine,” Sam lies and hurries to change the subject.

He thinks about it almost constantly over the next few days, unconsciously distancing himself from Castiel. They haven't spent a night together in almost a week, their kisses have all but disappeared, and their hugs are quick and cool.

Castiel wonders to himself if he has done something to upset Sam, but he knows he doesn't always understand all the nuances of their relationship. Instead he silently promises himself that he will ask Dean for his opinion if it seems yo get worse. He knows that humans often seek out advice from their friends in these situations.

When Sam shies away from his affections for the fifth day, Castiel gathers his courage and seeks Dean out. The other man has spent all day in the garage, pampering his ‘Baby’, so their conversation will be private. Sam rarely spends time down there.

“Dean,” Castiel greets quietly, not wanting to startle his friend. “If you have the time, I would like to speak to you.”

“Sure, Cas,” Dean replies. “What's up?”

Castiel hesitates, reluctant to reveal his troubles but desperately wanting to fix whatever has gone wrong in his relationship with Sam. He cares very much for the other man, loves him even if he hasn't said it, and has spent time entertaining the thought of bonding with him. He doesn't want to lose him. Just the thought spurs him into speaking again.

“I have found myself in a...distressing situation.”

Dean's eyebrows raise, but he seems receptive. “Go on, Cas. Is it some kind of hunt or something?”

“No,” Castiel shakes his head. “It is about Sam.”

Dean grimaces. “Aw, come on, you know I don't--”

“Dean, please,” Castiel interrupts, distress raising his voice. “I am worried.”

“About what? You know Sam thinks the sun shines out of your ass.”

Frowning at Dean's speech, Castiel shakes his head again. “No, something is wrong. Sam is...we haven't…It's been a week.”

“Since what?” Dean asks before his jaw drops. “Oh, dude, no. Why would you tell me that? I don't wanna know that!”

“I need help.”

“What for?”

“Sam hasn't mentioned anything but I wonder if I have upset him in some way,” Castiel says quietly, dropping his eyes from Dean's wary gaze to his hands tangled in front of him. “I don't know how it would have happened, but I would like to fix it.”

Dean steps forward and lays a hand on Castiel's shoulder, squeezing to offer a small comfort. “I'm sure you haven't done anything and I'm also sure that if you just asked Sam he would say the same.”

“If you're sure,” Castiel says doubtfully.

“Sure, I'm sure,” Dean says brightly, patting his shoulder. “So why don't you go do that?”

“Very well,” Castiel replies and leaves to go find Sam. It doesn't take long; Sam is in the library like always. From what Castiel can see, he has the same book spread out in front of him as he has the past few days. It's odd, he thinks to himself, Sam is usually a quick reader.

Before he can say anything, Sam looks up and notices him, a bright grin stretching his lips before anxiety bleeds into his eyes.

“Cas! Where’ve you been?” Sam asks, closing his book with one hand.

“We need to talk,” Castiel says, ignoring the question as Sam's nerves heighten his own. How have they gotten so off course in such a short time?

Sam goes still, not even breathing. “S-sure. About what?”

Stepping forward, Castiel lifts a hand to tuck a lock of Sam's hair behind his ear- something he's done a thousand times before- and sighs when he flinches. “That.”

“What?”

“Sam, I'm not as oblivious as you seem to think I am,” Castiel says, his voice tight with frustration. “You have been pulling away for days. If I have done something, if this relationship is no longer what you want, I would appreciate it if you would tell me.”

“What?” Sam asks again, this time in shock. “How could you think that? I love you!”

He blushes after he throws the words out there, but something inside of Castiel warms. He would like to let everything go now, but knows it won't help.

“I love you, as well. But it is my understanding that when two people love each other, they show it physically,” he says softly, staring up at Sam.

“Well, yeah, but you're an angel.”

Castiel frowns in confusion. “Yes. I've been an angel the whole time, even the first time we-”

“But I didn't know then!” Sam says loudly, hurrying to cut him off, and curses inwardly when he feels his face warm even further.

“Know what?”

“About…” Sam waves his hands towards Castiel in a vague gesture. “Angels.”

Eyebrows crinkling, Castiel shook his head. “You definitely knew about angels.”

“Well, yes, I knew about angels,” Sam agreed. “But I didn't know about angel mating.”

“Why would that matter?” Castiel asks, bewildered. “You're not an angel. We can't possibly mate in that way. You and I mate like humans.”

“I know,” Sam says mournfully.

Confusion, anxiety, and sadness war inside Castiel. He had thought that Sam enjoyed what they did together. His thoughts must be plain on his face, as Sam huffs loudly.

“It's not really...the way you would do things,” he says quietly, blushing anew and looking down at the floor. “I thought...maybe I was making you uncomfortable. That what we did was making you uncomfortable.”

“Sam,” Castiel sighs with exasperated fondness. He steps forward and lifts Sam's chin with careful fingers. Even in this restrictive vessel, he has ten times more strength than Sam and could easily hurt him. “I love you. All of you. Even your humanity. And I love all that we do together.”

“I love you, too,” Sam says softly.

“Then would you forget all of this and let me kiss you again?”

Sam smiles brightly. “Please.”

**Author's Note:**

> for samspurpletoothbrush on tumblr for sastiel love week


End file.
